At Home on Hill Haven

Musings, ramblings, and pontifications on motherhood, unschooling, farming, sustainability, spirit, and life in general...

Name:
Location: northwest Georgia, United States

I'm a living-working-breathing mom, writing, mothering, teaching, and soul-searching from our home in northwest Georgia. We are whole-life unschoolers, which basically means our kids actually have a say in what happens to them (it actually means infinitely more than that, but's it's a starting point for discussion). We are also hardcore environmentalists, anti-industrialists, trying to escape from our dependence on petroleum, manufactured products and other non-sustainable practices. We homebirth, homeschool, and homestead, and try to make sense of it all, in a constant whirlwind of chaos.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The Infinite To-Do List

I have made the perhaps grave error of discovering online to-do lists. It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago (yeah, ok, I'm slow as molasses about some things) that such a beastie must exist, so off I went into Googleland ISO said thing. Lo, there are many, and what a treat for my OCD self! I could spend hours entering data and not making one iota of progress toward completing any of the actual entries. Heh. Now I get an email daily, flaunting my unfinished tasks in my face. It's really much tidier than all my scraps of paper and I never lose my laptop, so I'm getting reminded of what I'm trying to accomplish at least...

The single biggest discovery I've made, though, is that it is in fact a physical impossibility to do all the things on my list for any given day. I suppose this is good to know. I don't even have any of the myriad tasks that comprise constant child care, meals, or personal hygiene listed. So I find myself waxing philosophical (as I am wont to do), this time about this annoying aspect of human behavior that causes us to expect impossible things of ourselves. Have we been so brainwashed by societal mandates that we now believe we must be able to daily achieve the Herculean? Did people torment themselves this way a hundred years ago, or fifty? Where did I acquire this sense of urgency that is now my constant companion? Must. Do. All. Things. Must. Be. All. Things. To. All. People. Ack!

I thought I had stepped quietly out of the rat race, moving into a rhythmic, expansive space, filled with the spiritual and mundane routines of maintaining a basic existence. Instead, I seem to have brought the race with me, if my lists are any indication. How can I shift this? How can I take my foot off the gas when I'm racing in an invisible car?

I welcome ideas and discussion on this topic. Stay tuned for more musings...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

It is most difficult to move away from the lists and impetus in our head. Sometimes I can silence the voices (yeah, that doesn't sound a bit off at all) and sometimes they scream so loud it almost makes me scream and run around and clean/scrub/repair/organize everything to within an inch of its life. Then, I step outside, take a deep breath, hug my darlings and let it go 'cause all things will be there tomorrow, too and I don't want to miss a minute of today.

I always admired the Hopi way of life/time (at least the way it was explained to me - I have never researched the validity for fear of reality not being what I wish ;) - "if I happen to be there and you happen to be there, then it shall be a joy to spend whatever time is available with you" (oh, I'm the queen of paraphrase). Seems very joyful and not full of expectations or demands. Just embracing what we do receive.

Kimba again.

7:07 AM  

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